nesting

My stomach is popping. I know people love pictures of this, but it's taking me a little bit to get used to the idea of being "cute" at my heaviest weight ever (not that I'd know - I haven't weighed myself in forever). I'm getting there though, give me a week or two for the pictures. I love the way it feels at night. It's so tight and stiff and I can tell exactly where the baby is, if they're kicking around on the left or right side of my tummy. It's cute. As for the kicking, I think I've felt it a couple of times, but you just never know. It's such a strange feeling, and like everything to do with this pregnancy, I wonder if it's just wishful thinking. Maybe it was gas? I'll know soon enough.

All of a sudden everyone has changed their mind about me having a boy - even Peter dreamed it was a girl. Of course I dreamed it was twin boys, and one had bright red hair, so we're not exactly basing this on who is dreaming what. Except dad. He dreamed about the sex of the baby with all of his kids and with Luc - and hasn't been wrong yet. I'm hoping he'll dream something before the 27th of April, that's when my ultrasound is. I'm dying to know.

Today I'm dreaming of nurseries. I love making a home for someone. The other night, after moving into our gloriously silent new palace (read: little three bedroom house) I was home all alone, Peter working until 11pm, and all of a sudden I was just done with boxes. We had most of the major stuff unpacked, but of course you have boxes of books and pictures, candles, trinkets...all the little things that make a house a home that we've done without since January, since I refused to settle in to the condo. So the other night, I went crazy and unpacked our entire house. When Peter came home, our pictures were up, my clothes were organized and put away (which consisted mainly of "that's never going to fit this summer" and packing it all away). My bookshelf was filled, my candles out, all my boxes hauled into the garage. He was stunned. I was dead tired, and had pinched a nerve in my back. Apparently the baby didn't appreciate this gesture as much as Peter did.

Anyway, that's the part of moving that I love. I love making a house, or a space, feel like home. I love taking a picture and wandering around the house, trying to find the perfect spot for it. I love the feeling it creates to walk into a space that was created just to make you feel cozy and safe and calm. I can't wait to do this for the baby. I have all my nursery ideas all picked out, and can't wait until I'm able to slowly start putting it together. I can't paint, so it's a bit of a harder task, but like I said, I love doing this stuff.

If it's a little boy, I'm going for a Narnia theme. Don't think of the movies. Peter's parents gave us the most beautiful collection of the Narnia stories, with the original color illustrations. It's such a beautiful thing, not to mention stories that I love and that Peter loved as a child. I want to somehow get someone with computer skills to scan and blow up some of the illustrations, print them on some cool rough paper, and frame them. I want an old lamp-post in there for a light, and I'd die for an armoire, but I think that might be a little over the top. Plus I have no space for one. Either way, I want it to kind of look like the woods when the kids enter Narnia for the first time. Maybe get some of that amazing wall art that you can stick up of a big tree. Make it look kind of forest-y in there. Really neutral bedding, maybe make it myself.

If it's a little girl, I'm going with loads of pink (of course) and white, and some black and grey accents. I want it to look like a little Parisian shop. Little black and white sketches of shoes and purses framed on the wall. Maybe one of those silly fake chandeliers, if I can find one second-hand. I'd like to get some of those little wooden letters and spell her name, paint them and hang them on the wall from pretty little ribbons, or put them on a chunky cool looking shelf... I've already swiped the pictures from online, and photoshopped them, just to see if they'd work. It's totally adorable.

I love dreaming of this fall. Thanksgiving with another baby around. Watching football on the couch, curled up with our little one. Sitting awake in my quiet house, rocking my baby back to sleep in the dark. Or in their adorably decorated nursery. I can't wait to find out what we're having. I think it will make it more real to me, though buying my first pair of maternity pants certainly helped in that respect. Now that the nausea is pretty much gone - praise the LORD - all of the other fun little things about being pregnant are starting to come through. Tummies, and feeling it move, hearing the heartbeat, and buying cute little things for it. I got an old style pram the other day. We're going to use it as a bassinet, as it's a bit bulky for an actual stroller. It's gorgeous. All dark brown outside, with brown and cream gingham inside. Heaps of chrome. This cute little old couple sold it to me, said they'd used it 30 years ago with their kids, and saved it for their daughter who wanted nothing but Peg Perego crap when she got pregnant. Stupid girl. My gain I guess. I don't understand who would turn down something so pretty for a stupid, fancy, insanely overpriced Italian stroller. To get a stoller/infant car seat combo you're looking at about $600. The pram was $50, and my second hand stroller that we'll use for the mall is very pretty, and Eddie Bauer (I know - oooh!) and was $100. With the car seat.

Now that we're in our new little house, there's an actual baby's room, into which I allow no junk storage. Baby things only. Every now and then, I walk in, look at my pram, and the little Gap outfit that Peter bought me before we even conceived, and touch everything and talk to my growing little tummy. I can't believe how much fun this is. How great it is to be able to dream and think and plan. It's like Christmas all year, with all these fun presents along the way. Ultrasounds, heartbeats, first movements, finding out the sex, etc. It's such an amazing magical time. I'm loving it.