changes

I've never been good at waiting. I was terrible at waiting to get pregnant (see previous posts) and though I'm not in any hurry at all for the baby to actually get here, there are milestones that I can't wait to reach. My whole life feels like it's in such upheaval right now, which is possibly the reason for the impatience too. We're moving again in five days, and I'm so thankful for this I can't even tell you. I told Peter that should the landlord here decide to halve the rent to make us stay, I'd still move. I paid $500 to move early, since they couldn't find a new tenant for this place until the first. I don't care. Money well spent, if it means a little more sanity for me. My laundry and every towel I own is currently in a soaking wet pile on the ground by the front door. A result of my washing machine flooding my apartment last night. The washer and dryer haven't worked since I moved in. I'm sick to death of them. I'm also tired of falling asleep to the TV in our bedroom (which I swore I'd never have) just so I don't have to hear the people below us. I'm ready to be gone. I'm ready for us to have our first real house, and to finally be able to come home and relax. I cannot wait for that. If Peter isn't here, I don't come home. I don't like being here that much. Anyway, enough of the rental rant.

Things with the baby are going pretty well I assume. My tummy is growing, and I tried to take some belly pictures yesterday, but I just look fat. I'm wildly annoyed at myself that I managed to get pregnant at the absolute worst weight I've been in a long long time. Then I got sick for two months, so exercise and healthy eating weren't even an option. I ate whatever didn't sound gross, and slept whenever I could. However, in good news, I am feeling better, and even went a week without throwing up once. I'm looking forward to the weather changing and being able to get out of the house on a walk. That will be really great. I've vowed that although there's not a whole lot I can do to change my stomach in the next while, I'm going to work hard on my legs, butt, and arms. At least then I won't look like a total whale.

I'm looking forward to Peter's next month schedule. He works Thursday to Monday from 2:30 until 11pm. I hate it. I'm off work at 5, and usually go to my mom and dad's, just so I don't have to sit in my stupid apartment. I feel like I never see him, which is still a bit strange, since my boss has been really great, and allowed me to take Tuesdays and Wednesdays off with him, while not cutting my hours.

I'm really looking forward to new little milestones with the baby though. In a few weeks, I'll be able to feel the beginnings of him moving around in there, which would be amazing. I'll be able to find out whether it's a boy or a girl, and start buying onesies and little hats and socks and blankets. It will be fun to be able to tell my family what we're having. I'm looking forward to looking pregnant instead of just fat, and with the new energy I'm feeling, I'm looking forward to being able to get out and do something, like go to the beach with Luc.

I am so so so looking forward to spring. I heard someone say that this year Nanaimo got more snow than Winnepeg, or Calgary. That's obscene. I remember when the end of February heralded daffodil season here. We've had Easters that were so warm you could hunt for eggs outside and we all wore t-shirts and had cold drinks on my mom's deck. I could use a spring like that. Even though I'm going to be huge and hot, I can't wait for summer. I want to go to the beach. I want to have an ice cream at the beach hut. I want to sit on my own little deck, in my own backyard and have a nice cold lemonade and stick my feet in a paddling pool.

All in good time, everyone tells me. All in good time. That phrase makes me want to scream a little bit. It feels like the first three months of this year are taking forever, and I'm ready to be done. I know that the baby will come and I'll be sitting there wondering how in the world time flew by so quickly. I think being in the new place will help. Being able to unwind and relax. I'm so tense here, and I'm happy that that will be over soon. All in good time.